Christmas time seems to be when most of us are ok with loosening our wallets and hearts. We rationalize that it’s ok to give something to that guy with the card board sign asking for change. Maybe he really is going to spend it on food. We all have our views on why and who we give our hard earned money to. Someone once told me that they don’t like to give money to people on the streets because they might use it for drugs or alcohol. He claims that he instead takes them to a restaurant and buys them a bowl of soup. Great idea…my sceptical nature wonders how often he actually brought someone to a restaurant. All the time…once a year…once…ever?

Interestingly enough, the true benefit of giving falls on the giver and not so much on the givee. When a person gives they feel good about themselves. I think most of us want to help. But here is the secret, don’t tell anyone you gave. When you do an act of kindness and keep it to yourself, it shows that you weren’t looking for an external return in praise from others. You gave to someone out of pure kindness without the connotations of positive feedback and accolades from others. Your mind registers this and tells your conscious and unconscious mind that you are a “genuine good person.” All other incentives have been removed. It’s you being you.

So whether it’s giving money, a coffee...or even soup, don’t waste an opportunity by telling people about your generosity afterwards. You both get something you need. You’ll feel better about yourself and they’ll feel better…however that happens.