The one constant in our lives is the presence of people.  They're everywhere.  Like them or hate them, you need to interact with them to survive, let alone get ahead in life.  Some of us have almost perfected the art of communicating with people while others struggle in this area and view most human interaction with great anxiety.   Communicating with people is a learned skill much like any other.   And like the other skills we have learned, the more we practice the better we are.  I have assembled five quick and easy points for the beginners to focus on and the pros to master.

1.         LOOK AT PEOPLE IN THE EYE

When we look people in the eye when we’re talking with them they feel connected and that you’re interested in them (Remember to blink occasionally or it's disturbing and people think you are an alien).  Look away occasionally, but always show people the courtesy of eye contact

2.         USE PEOPLE’S NAME

People love to hear their name.  Always use people’s names at least once or twice in a conversation.  Especially if you just met them, because it shows you were listening when introduced and you’re more likely to remember their name later.   I always call people by their name when they have a name tag on at a restaurant or store.  It sometimes surprises them because most people don’t do that and it makes our interaction more personable.

3.         ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN

People love to talk about themselves.  When you ask open ended questions to people, it gives them an opportunity to say what is one their mind.  Don’t ask embarrassing or personal questions like "how long have you had that rash?”  But ask questions that are going to get them to open up.  Second half of this point is to listen.   All too often, people are not listening, but merely waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can jump in and talk about themselves.  If you show genuine interest in somebody and what they are all about they will do the same for you and you’ll get your chance.  It’s incredible how interesting of a person you become when you ask people to talk about themselves.

4.         DON’T SLOUCH - HAVE GOOD POSTURE

When your shoulders, head, and eyes are down it give’s people the impression that you’re down.  It’s a defeated pose.  Body language communicates  approximately 93% (statistics vary depending on where you look) of what we tell people.  So it’s a major communication tool and we need to be conscious of what messages we’re sending people.   

5.         DON’T MUMBLE – PRACTICE  RAISING VOLUME AND ARTICULATING YOUR SPEECH

Like defeated body posture, language that is too soft or unclear tells people that what you have to say isn’t important.  Practice speaking at a medium volume and speed to increase the probability of people listening to what you have to say.

You will probably have another conversation within the next 60 minutes which will give you an opportunity to practice these points.   The more we can integrate these habits into our human interactions, the more rewarding our interactions become.   To ourselves as well as the person we are talking with.